Club Gossip April 2026

CLUB GOSSIP: Open Sesame

Paddy’s manager, Kelsey Sheppard, will undergo surgery in May to reopen her vagina. Kelsey suffers from a rare condition called Vaginal Agenesis. This is caused by a chronic lack of sexual activity. She has been in an almost three-year dry spell since her break-up with her last boyfriend, Buck, but she had no idea that abstaining from sex could cause her vagina to close permanently. The Oily Discharge caught up with Kelsey recently to discuss her condition.

“My shit is almost completely closed, but I couldn’t be bothered with the men in Fayetteville. They’re like parking spaces – the good ones are all taken and the rest are handicapped.”