Club Gossip JAN

CLUB GOSSIP: Run, Jimmy, Run

Paddy’s Security team member and Pornhub Executive Platinum Member, James McBride, will soon be leaving for Europe; all because he’s gotten himself into a spot of bother, according to the rumor mill. After several years of standing and posing on the top step of The Church dance club, in a desperate attempt to finally experience, what he refers to as, “the inside of a female”, the big man finally cracked the case about eight months ago, or so it seems.

In recent weeks, not one, but two women have showed up at Paddy’s looking for “Big Jimmy,” both eight months pregnant, and both claiming that James is the father. But Jimmy is denying the whole thing, claiming he suffers from premature ejaculation. “These bitches is crazy,” said Jimmy when interviewed by The Oily Discharge. “Cray. Zee. It wadn’t me. I can’t get that bitch out of my pants without it shootin’ off. Have you seen Forrest Gump? That’s me. I ain’t no baby daddy.”

Everyone at Paddy’s wishes our friend and brother, James, godspeed. We will all miss him.