CLUB GOSSIP: Shit Happens

CLUB GOSSIP: Shit Happens

On January 17th of this year, shortly after a gig at Paddy’s by local rock group, The Scroggins Band, our chief audio engineer, Glenn Stine, found a pile of vomit on the stage. It was in the corner, right behind where drummer, Robert James Hancock, was sitting. Security camera footage did indeed show Hancock downing a shot of Jameson and then immediately puking it back up again. After the gig, he packed up his kit and went home. When confronted with video evidence, Hancock said that he “forgot” that he had puked on the floor.

Fast forward to the May 2nd Scroggin’s Band gig - this time Glenn found a large turd right behind where Hancock’s drum stool had been. Again, security footage clearly showed Hancock pulling his pants down, leaning forward, and dropping a good-sized log on the carpet – but this time, he didn’t “forget,” as singer and guitarist, Chris Scroggins, explained to The Oily Discharge.

“He won’t talk about it, but Robert has a lazy sphincter. This has led to a condition called Poo-Phoria. The dude actually gets a euphoric high from taking a shit, and that high intensifies when he shits in public. He went to a therapist for help, but she refused to see him after he shit in the waiting room.”