CLUB GOSSIP: Sparks Fly Between King and Minton

CLUB GOSSIP: Sparks Fly Between King and Minton

It’s no secret that Ryan Minton fancied the job of comedy night host here at Paddy’s long before Dr. Brian King came out of nowhere to land the role. But no one could have guessed that the animosity between these two well-known local comedians would last this long and become so vitriolic. The Oily Discharge contacted both men to find out what the problem might be. Minton was the first to respond.

“Doctor? He’s a doctor like Jill Biden is a doctor. I don’t know how he manages to carry that gigantic ego up the stairs at night. He’s like Mondays – nobody likes Mondays. I’d like to play a game with him where he goes underwater, and I count to one million. He’s a total twatwaffle. And he’s been cuntfirmed. That means that there is no longer a suspicion that he is, in fact, a cunt.”

When informed of Minton’s strong comments, Dr. King didn’t hold back.

“Ryan Minton reminds me of sweat from a baboon’s balls. He’s a wankspanner. He inserts himself into situations he doesn’t understand, makes everything worse, and then stands there like he’s fixed it. He’s also a world-class clocksucker. He eats up your time like it’s a free buffet and leaves you wondering how it’s suddenly dark outside. I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.”