Dear Alice - JAN 2026

Dear Alice

Advice from an Irish Mother

Dear Alice,

I met this girl recently; well, I saw her on the dance floor of a local club. I asked for her number, and she gave me her business card. The thing is, I’ve texted her every single day since we met. She responded at first but then just dropped off the face of the earth. I’ve even sent flowers several times to the nail salon where she works. Am I crazy or is that rude?

James McB, Fort Bragg, NC Lana, Port St. Lucie, FL

Dear James,

No. You’re not crazy. You’re a weirdo. You sound like you’ve been playing with yourself thinking about this poor girl. Don’t you know anything about women? Or anything about people, in general? I would ask you how you’d like it if someone did that to you, but you’d probably like it. Patience is a virtue, James. Dating you would be like trying to knit with spaghetti. Most women don’t enjoy getting beaten over the head by the penis of a man they just met. Try masturbating before contacting, conversing with, or even thinking about, a female. Masturbate continuously until such time that you feel normal.

Alice Gibney - Dublin, Ireland