February - Dear Alice

Dear Alice

Advice from an Irish Mother

Dear Alice,

My boyfriend has a weird fascination with boobs. He paid for my enlargement surgery and now insists that I remain topless around the house. He constantly fondles them and kisses them, even waking me up in the middle of the night to play with them. I mentioned it to his mother in a lighthearted way, and she told me that she breastfed him until he was seven. I know this whole thing is weird, but is it dangerous?

Janice H - Fayetteville, NC

Dear Janice,

Whether they’re funding them or fondling them, giving them funny names, or simply staring at them, most men like breasts, especially big ones. However, there’s nothing sexual about a mother breastfeeding her child, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with breastfeeding a seven-year-old boy, though it’s uncommon in western cultures and may draw judgement. No, your boyfriend sounds like a garden variety horny basdard. In other words, a man. If his obsession with your mammary glands doesn’t bother you and he’s a decent guy otherwise, let him have his fun. At least you know where he is.

Alice Gibney - Dublin, Ireland