Dear Alice

Dear Alice

Advice from an Irish Mother

Dear Alice,

Despite leaving the church years ago, I am still flooded with shame when it comes to anything remotely sexual - anything at all. As a virgin, I’m absolutely terrified of having sex, not because I don’t want to, but because I’m ashamed that I do. At this point, I figure I might just end up as a lonely old woman because it doesn’t seem fair to drag a partner through this.

Ginger R. - Emerald Isle, NC

Dear Ginger,

I don't know if you take care of your body, but start with that and know that it's perfectly normal and natural for a woman to have sexual desires and to express them. You don't have to jump into sex right away; you can tell the guy you'd prefer to wait a while to make sure you have a genuine connection before having sex. You don't even need to tell them up front you are a virgin; it's probably best you don't, because some men have sick virgin fetishes and may take your virginity and bail. Remind yourself you are not a whore if you get into a relationship one day and your boyfriend asks for nudes or sexy pics. Of course that's up to you. If you don't feel comfy with that, he should understand, but it doesn't make you a bad person to participate in these things. Same goes with exploring sexy lingerie, different sexual positions, and other sexual things.

Alice Gibney - Dublin, Ireland