St. Patrick’s Day Shenanigans

St. Patrick’s Day Shenanigans

BY Patrick Gibney

What can I write about St. Patrick’s Day that hasn’t already been written? Nothing. You’ve heard it all before. Erin Go Bragh - Slainte – Kiss me, I’m Irish - Leprechauns – Shamrocks - Green Beer - Foreskin; the usual. Some things never change. St. Patrick’s Day is one of those things – it’s always a great occasion for everyone at your favorite Irish Pub. We put on a good show every year, and this year is no exception.

St. Patrick’s Day falls on a Tuesday in 2026. People keep asking me if we will be closed because it falls on a Tuesday. Hello? McFly? That would be like a flower shop closing on Valentine’s Day. Yes. We’re open. We open at 2 p.m. that afternoon. Sean and Derek of Tippers & Pypes will be performing outside from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. These guys are brilliant, and they offer something very, very rare in these parts – traditional Irish and Scottish music performed using instruments first developed in ancient times. We’re hoping for pleasant weather, but we will have a tent outside to supplement the patio. Yours truly and Bill will take the stage in the pub around 7 p.m. and play for as long as we’re getting flashed. Karaoke will close out the night. Meanwhile, DJ Epic will be making you wet in The Church. It should be a gay ol’ time.

Incidentally, this year’s Paddy’s Day party is being sponsored by IRISH PISS lager beer and SAOIRSE red wine. You will notice a twenty-foot shillelagh outside the pub, along with an eight-foot Irish Piss beer can and an eight-foot Saoirse wine bottle. I want everyone to know that I really wanted a twenty-foot golden dick outside, but I was outvoted by my own staff. Apparently, I go a little toofar sometimes in my efforts to shed light on the evil practice of circumcision. St. Patrick’s Day at Paddy’s is always a weeklong event. At Art Attack on Wednesdays and Comedy on the Thursdays, there’s always a cool buzz in the air when Paddy’s Day is just around the corner. Many people celebrate their St. Patrick’s Day on the Friday or Saturday before, so that weekend is always full of love and laughs, and stinky drunk people. It’s free to get in before 6 p.m. All the particulars are posted all over our social media.

Sláinte.