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CLUB GOSSIP - Eight Inches, Limp
The word on the street is that an “anonymous” text message was sent to Paddy’s phone recently regarding The Local’s comedy star, Brandon Dyer. This “anonymous” source, rumored to be his old buddy, Dennis, claims in the message that Brandon has been charging women $20 to see his dick, $40 to touch it, and $100 to suck it. Now, it’s no secret around the venue that what Dyer lacks in height he more than makes up for in dick size. His “cack,” as he refers to it, is a thing of legend in the local comedy scene and amongst local body piercers. Not only is his “cack” eight inches and change, limp, but it also contains two Apadravyas, an Ampallang, and four Prince Alberts. But is he making money from it? The Oily Discharge called to find out.
“Man, I gave all that up when I quit my job as a shot boy at Victoria’s Cabaret,” said Dyer. “I’ve been married for twenty years. My cack is retired. I can barely raise a smile anymore. All I do is work and watch 90 Day Fiancé with my wife. We also watch Hallmark movies and romantic comedies. Let go and let God.”
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