She Swallowed It is not just a famous song by N.W.A., it’s also a coming-of-age moment for Adriana Hurtado, a young woman who is close to winning a Paddy’s coffee mug by hooking up with men in three different sections of the Paddy’s organization. So far, she has bedded one of our security team and two of our mixologists. If she can get with someone in our audiovisual department or from our food truck, the coffee mug is hers. It will be the first one ever awarded by our company, but it’s not the only first-time thing that’s going on here.

Rumor has it that Adriana recently gave her first-ever complete blowjob to one of our lucky mixologists. “She’s positively glowing.” said her best friend, Tia. “Even her irritable bowel syndrome seems to have gotten better, especially since she started swallowing, and her hemorrhoids have completely disappeared.”

When reached for comment by The Oily Discharge, Ms. Hurtado said, “I have finally realized that a blowjob without swallowing is like a birthday cake without candles. Oh, and hair ties are a must, unless he is a gentleman and holds it for you.”

God Bless America