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Dear Alice

Dear Alice,

Every single day of 2023 I asked my husband for sex. He had a “headache” 83 times. It was “too early” 27 times. It was “too late” 34 times. And he pretended to be sleeping 221 times. I am at my wits end. Please help.

Cayla G – San Diego, CA


Dear Cayla,

Are you using mouthwash and brushing your teeth? Bad breath is a huge turn-off. Also, ‘down there’ care is important. You must keep that thing smelling nice and looking pretty. Alternatively, it could be that your husband is gay. There are a lot of gay lads hiding in heterosexual relationships. While he sounds very much like a woman, I’m assuming you’re certain he’s a man. And if so, you can be certain of something else, he’s getting sexual gratification from somewhere. Check what websites he visits and see if you can smell his privates when he comes home. You will be able to tell if he’s been putting his you-know-what in someone else’s you-know-where by how he smells down there. If you still can’t get an answer after all the above, get into counseling or get out of the marriage.

Alice Gibney

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