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Employee of the Month

Justin Toyer: aka The Sodfather, aka Gutbucket, aka Mr. Snuffleupagus, aka Pigpen

  • Justin was created from a chemical spillage at a fertilizer plant in Portland, Oregon.
  • Owner of Failed Actor Living in Parent’s Basement Lawncare.
  • He can’t cut his grass until he finds his lawnmower, and he can’t find his lawnmower until he cuts his grass.
  • Got into acting in middle school, starring in an independent film called, Buttfingerer.
  • Like all loyal left-wing lunatics, Justin bleaches his asshole, and wears a face mask while driving.
  • Author of the book, “Please Mr. Biden, may I suck your dick?”
  • LBGTQ+, Black Lives Matter, AOC, MSNBC, NPR, CNN, The Washington Post, The New York Times, The Democrat Party, Students for Justice in Palestine, Hillary Clinton, Barak Obama, Rachel Maddow, Kamala Harris, Karl Marx, gender identity pronouns, and unregulated abortion all make his pussy wet.
  • The first time he shot a live one into his girlfriend, Linda, he said, “Are you alright to walk home or will I call you a cab?”
  • There is no way Justin would ever vote from Donald Trump, even if Linda guaranteed him a blow job.
  • His Mom refers to his dick as “Pee Bob” like, “Don’t forget to wash Pee Bob.”
  • Justin Toyer is a master mixologist, a talented thespian, and a truly genuine soul. He is kind, loving, down-to-earth, and the best friend anyone could ever have.

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