"Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy"
Elijah “Eli” Sandoval is a friendly fellow with an almost natural looking spray tan and a million-dollar smile. That same smile beams brightly from behind a large moustache that spreads across his entire face. He hangs out by the door of the pub, offering his listening services to frustrated Fayetteville females. Essentially, he’s a modern-day Tom Selleck. Well, this man’s moustache has become quite the topic of conversation around the pub.
“Either he lost a bet, or someone convinced him that women think men with moustache’s REALLY know how to eat pussy,” said his good friend, Lindsey Graham. But the truth is, no one knows for sure why he has let his moustache grow so big. There are, however, some interesting takes on this whole scenario. “Oh, he a pussy hound. He sneaky though. He be loading up on bitches’ numbers and cashing that shit in later,” said flamboyant mixologist, Braxton Hockaday. Security Chief, Chad Shelby, has other concerns entirely, “If it gets any bigger, it could become a security hazard. We won’t be able to get it through the metal detector, and even if we could, someone could trip over it.”