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Employee of the Month
Faith Danielle McGee aka Hawk Tua
- Voted “Most Likely To be Married After Dating For Less Than Three Months” at Jack Britt High School. She does not accept advice. She prefers to fail and ruin it for everyone.
- Faith married her ex-husband after only three months, but she was never really a trophy wife. She was more of a commemorative plaque.
- Her favorite pick-up lines are, “Let me hold some of that dick. I know you got it on ya” and “Hey, wanna fuck?”
- She also likes, “Wanna go halves on a baby?” and “Are you claustrophobic, because I’d like to wrap these soccer player thighs around your face tonight?”
- Most of her girlfriends call her “Clam Jam” behind her back.
- She once got an STD on her hand.
- Silicone sex dolls have more boundaries than Clam Jam, and still, she can’t give it away.
- If you’re a man with no ambition, no work ethic, bad hygiene, and a small dick, Faith will date you and make excuses for you.
- She spent three years in Kaiserslautern, Germany, where she learned that having a hairy pussy is quite common overseas.
- She became Four Hole Qualified during the pandemic, according to Tom Jones.
- Faith is a beautiful, down-to-earth, funny, and much-loved member of the Paddy’s family. She is a devoted mother and loyal friend. However, she is very horny, and needs a penis, pronto.