• She’s swallowed so many kids in her time, everything that comes out of her mouth is childish.
• Her favorite song lyrics are, “Have you ever been fucked by a country boy, rammed by a redneck, spread by an inbred who’s kinda got your Daddy’s voice?”
• She has to jump around in the shower to get wet.
• President of the Fayetteville Chapter of the IBTC**
• Don’t be fooled by her diminutive exterior, she may look like a telephone box, but she’s really The Tardis.
• She holds the Cottonwood High School record for the longest fart – 17.69 seconds. She has more children than the old woman who lived in a shoe.
• Make her angry and she will spit in your drink.
• She developed a lazy sphincter after her first child and an irritable bowel after her second.
• A very hairy woman, Areola has to shave her knees every day.
• Aireona is a loving mother, a dedicated wife, a faithful friend, and a sweet, kind, and down-to-earth human being.

** Itty Bitty Titty Committee