Dear Natalie,

You’re not a mess, love. You’re in a mess, and you’re married to a mess, but you’re not a mess. Why in God’s name would you marry such a man, or even date such a man? If he has always been this way, blame yourself for being an idiot and get the hell out of the marriage before you waste more valuable time. If he suddenly changed after wedlock into this scared little boy, demand marriage counseling and/or get the hell out of the marriage. You’re most likely married to a gay man. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot, and you were the one pulling this crap – you would be flayed alive for it.

Alice Gibney                                                                                                                    Dublin, Ireland