In a sensational turn of events, Dr. Joe Creech, the inventor of steel tip darts, is back as a Paddy’s regular after a two-year hiatus. No one knows what happened or where he has been, but the rumor mill is bubbling over with supposed facts. Some people say he had botched penile implant surgery that left him in a dick splint for a long time. Others say he tripped up and fell into a young married woman’s vagina and shacked up with her until the Viagra stopped working. Some are even saying that he moved back to San Francisco but couldn’t stand people shitting on the pavement outside his house, so he moved back to NC. Whatever the reason, everyone is glad that Joe is back. This means that someone is finally drinking the cheap scotch we’ve been trying to get rid of for the last two years.