Dear Alice
Dear Alice,
I believe my roommate has been stealing the chocolate my mother sends me from my hometown. What should I do?
Sebastian
San Juan, PR.
Dear Sebastian,
Go to your local drug store and purchase a bar of Ex-Lax Stimulant Laxative Chocolate. Mix the chocolate in with the chocolate your mother sends to you. I think you’ll find that your roommate will leave your possessions alone in the future.