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Dear Alice

Dear Alice,

I believe my roommate has been stealing the chocolate my mother sends me from my hometown. What should I do?


San Juan, PR.


Dear Sebastian,

Go to your local drug store and purchase a bar of Ex-Lax Stimulant Laxative Chocolate. Mix the chocolate in with the chocolate your mother sends to you. I think you’ll find that your roommate will leave your possessions alone in the future.



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